em·pa·thy and mis·an·thro·py
by SoyRamenProductions
Summary: The fact that most human beings were ignorant to what lay behind the cold veil of eternal sleep troubled the angel very much. EnvyxEdward, Alternate Universe
1. Guardian and Reaper

**Ashe's Note:**

**First, I would like to say that this was/is a roleplay between myself (commonly known as martelonkimmy/Kougagurl/CloroxEnvy) and my good friend, Al (commonly known as Envybloodshed). The breaks in text (xxx) signal the change in roleplayer/writer. This will most likely have smut in it, but we'll keep it rated Teen for here and post the smut on LJ.**

**Ashe: Envy**

**Al: Edward, Wrath, Alphonse, Random People**

**Disclaimer: We do not own FullMetal Alchemist nor do we own any of its characters. I feel that disclaimers are unnecessary on a site such as fanfictiondotnet, but I'll include this none the less. **

**Onto the story. **

**-----------------**

The fact that most human beings were ignorant to what lay behind the cold veil of eternal sleep troubled the angel very much. He studied the funeral from above, black wings gently flapping to keep his weightless body suspended in mid-air. A very observant human would have noticed the slight shimmer in the sky above the grave stone and a human whose senses rivaled that of a dog's might have been able to see the dark angel. But alas, to Envy's annoyance, he was not seen and the humans remained blissfully unaware of his presence.

"Idiots," The misanthrope muttered as he watched the priest splashing holy water onto the dark, black coffin that would soon be lowered into the hard earth. He lowered his body onto a tombstone (belonging to 'James S. Sullvian' who apparently died in the year of 1956), only interested in the death service enough to notice an obscenely loud woman, bawling her eyes out. "How much longer do I have to watch this...?"

_Until you realize that you must guard, protect and assist humans. As a guardian angel, it is your job to administer your sympathetic waves onto their beings to help them get through ordeals such as death._ Pipped the annoying voice in the back of his mind. He scowled and stared harder at the grief-stricken woman, attempting his hardest to pity her or at least have some sort of empathy. When nothing came, he stood on top of the crumbling gravestone and shrugged. "I tried my best. No luck." He offered to the voice that was, once again, trying to encourage him to try his hardest.

_They're_ not _going to be happy with you!_ The voice barked in the back of his ear as he rose higher into the sky, his wings moving just enough to lead him to the proper height for opening up the gates and returning to heaven. "I tried my best," He muttered. "I'd be better as an angel of death, don't see why they don't give me that position." Envy sighed loudly as he held his hand out, drawing it into a tight fist and summoning the gate way. Once it appeared, he approached it, ran a thin finger along its edge, and flew through. Even as he did so, he felt a single feather drift off of his already thinning wings. _Not much time left before they strip you completely..._

xxx

"Back already, guardian?" a low voice asked as a hooded figure walked towards him. His cloaked, hooded figure was quite tiny compared to the taller sin named male, but he was to be treated with great respect by both sides. His gigantic red wings spread out as he flapped them twice. His weapon, a scythe that was sharp enough to cut the soul away from the body, hung from the sling attached to his back. He was the Reaper of Souls other wise known as the Angel of Death. The one who carried souls to their destination after they passed on.

Though, when he was alive, he was known as Edward Elric, a brilliant boy who died due to some tragic accident that involved a fire in a library. He lowered his black hood, revealing golden eyes and gold hair. His face was smooth, revealing that he was not but 16 when he died. Though his age was 25 years old, he preferred in looking like he was 16 as it seemed to calm the people down when he took them to where they were supposed to be.

Edward Elric frowned as he touched the sin named angel's wings, sighing at the lack of feathers. "You're loosing them," he said, as if he was solving the world's problems with that statement. "If you loose anymore, you'll be sent back to earth to wander as a spirit permanently. He sounded worried for Envy, though he was, but Envy wasn't exactly kind to him either. It seemed that he was jealous of what Ed was, a high respectable character in both heaven and hell. It wasn't like he had a choice in what he had to do. Did Envy really expect him to enjoy taking people from their loved ones? Hearing them wail and plead to be allowed to say good bye to the ones they love? Ripping them from the lives they had?

The only plus side was that he got to see Al, when the boy fell asleep. He got to be in the boy's dreams, able to talk with the one he had to leave behind on earth. He was anxious to get back to Al's dreams, wanting to see who the boy was dating now. "Have you completed your duty as guardian angel?" he asked, his eyes glittering with excitement as the time for Ed to spend time with his brother grew closer. This was what allowed him to be happy with his duty, the ability to be with his brother, even if he wasn't able to talk to him during the day.

xxx

_Here he comes, pay your respect to the Angel of Death!_ Chirped the voice in his mind as he watched the younger, but higher up, approach him. A smile _tried_ to pull itself up onto his face, but it failed horribly and he looked as if he was just pissed off; _as always_. Envy's thin arms crossed over his equally thin chest, narrowed eyes following Ed's lightly tanned hand as it moved to caress the black wing. _Don't touch it, don't touch it..._ He thought, biting down on his lip and wincing away underneath the _damn his hands are so soft_ touch. The feather's were nearly gone on both of his wings now, revealing their bony structure beneath the feathers that used to be abundant on the pair of wings.

"I _know_," He scowled softly, shrugging away from the younger angel and trying his best to remain calm. The guardian pushed past Edward, his small wings flapping tiredly to carry him only a few feet. Even that took the energy out of him and he desperately wished he _had_ tried harder to distribute empathy onto the crying woman. But that was his main problem. To be a guardian angel, as he was, you had to be empathetic and understanding to all human feelings. But he _despised_ human life and was quite happy with the thought at, one day, becoming an Angel of Death. The job required misanthropy, which Envy had an access of, and just a touch of entropy to get you through a day.

"Of course I didn't," The wilting angel muttered, rubbing his pale arm as he summoned up the strength to bring himself to his home. He failed horribly, as he barely had strength to make it back to heaven, let alone make it to his bedroom. Envy sighed in his extreme irritation, crossing his thin, almost sickly, arms over his chest and staring forwards at the rolling white clouds that disappointed him. _Ask Edward for help! Ask and you shall receive!_ Pipped the same, _good conscience_ in its excitement. He shook the idea away at first, simply refusing to stoop so low as to ask the very angel he considered attractive, admirable and aspiring for help. Doing that, would be like accepting his weakness and giving up entirely at the task at hand; become a better guardian, eventually rise to being an Angel of Death.

However, he couldn't very well get home _without_ asking for help. Soon enough, he was going to need some sort of means of transportation to his home, where his bedroom, special medication and bubble baths resided. The bed in his room was a special one, to cater to his frail, dying angelic being and restore lost energy by keeping the remaining black feathers in shape. The medication wasn't _really_ medicine, but more or less steroids that every weak angel would take to gain confidence and inspire the needed feelings for the jobs they had to take on. Finally, the bubble baths were what _every_ angel looked forward to after a long day of working out in the field. Dealing with the living beings and the new souls often zapped energy from their body. Most angels couldn't stand sending empathetic waves over a frequency for more than five minutes, as it eventually would begin to turn the angel hopeless, dreamless and emotionless.

That's how Envy got to be how he was. He had died at the young age of eighteen years, over four hundred years ago. His death was a violent, dirty crime that (once investigated by police) revealed foul play by his mother. His drink had been poisoned one night with the liquid from a thermometer and had turned him into a crazed boy. Eventually, he tore his own throat out, a suicide that puzzled even the greatest of detectives at the time. After innocently wandering the planet for two years, the poor soul eventually travelled along with one of the Angels of Death at the time, up to heaven where he was chosen to be a savior to those still living due to his outgoing, loving persona for all things. Only years ago, he had committed the act that enslaved him to be a misanthrope for the rest of his life. Edward and Alphonse Elric had just lost their mother and were, according to Envy's abilities to tap into human minds, were contemplating the unthinkable. In order to guard the two young souls, he forced every last drop of his empathetic sympathy through the small passageway into each of the human's minds, a process the took three entire days. Any normal angel would have died by then, but Envy had remained strong and only lost a quarter of his feathers after the incident. But it didn't matter to him, the two darling boys were now safe from harm's way... And it was all because of him.

"I..." He began slowly, looking to Ed with violet eyes that pleaded for salvation, for a savior. "Would you be able to... help me back to my home...? I don't have the energy left to do it..." The angel admitted, a soft and embarrassing blush rising in his usually pale cheeks. _He will never know... Never know that I was the one who saved them... from that fate... The only one I have ever told is my journal. _His mind's eye flashed to the composition book hidden in his night stand beside his bed, reminding him of each good deed he had performed... and of the bad ones.

xxx

The blond angel started after being asked for help by the proud Guardian Angel in front of him, but he quickly hid his surprise. "Yes, I would be happy to help," he said, wrapping his arms around Envy's _taller_ body. "Are you sure that you're okay? You've been slacking off every day." His voice sounded like he was chastising the older (and probably stronger) angel, but he couldn't help it. Ever since he became an angel, Edward Elric felt a deep connection with the sick looking sin. Though when Ed first became an angel, Envy's wings were loosing their feathers already. _'I wish you would take this seriously,'_ he thought, flying towards the small place where Envy rested.

Ed looked at his own gigantic red wings, wincing as they seemed to make Envy's once proud black wings seem small and helpless. In the angelic world, white wings were the most common, black wings were rare but a few angels had them, and blood-red wings, like the one Edward had, were very very rare. He received his wings when he first came through the gates of Heaven. He received a lot of attention for them, though he had always admired the black wings more than his own red wings. When he got to Envy's apartment, he winced as the scythe began to glow red hot on his back. A person had died and needed to be taken away to his or her destination.

"Are you sure you're alright?" the Angel of Death asked him as he set Envy down on the bed. Even though the scythe was starting to burn his back, (he actually received scars from ignoring the scythe for too long), he was worried about Envy more. Cursing in his mind, he winced when his blood dripped down his broad scarred back. He hoped that it wouldn't drop on Envy's floor, because he was supposed to be the Angel of Death. A strong and great angel that didn't show weakness, even if the power of the scythe made him want to throw the damn thing on the floor and sob like a child. Still, for reasons unknown, he had to make sure that Envy was okay, or at least, feeling better. Otherwise, his guilty conscious would be eating away at him. Though angels could not die, they could become empty and emotionless if they didn't take care of themselves.

With a wince, he couldn't wait for Envy's answer, though he desperately wanted to. He gave the fragile angel a sad smile before turning around, the burning sensation was getting worse and he had to do his duty as the Angel of Death. "Sorry, Envy," he replied, waving to him over his shoulder. "I have to go. It seems like there has been a car wreck in Texas and I have to nab the souls that need judgement." He couldn't face the other, for fear that he would see the tears of pain and frustration that ran down his tanned cheeks. Why did he get the feeling that the person or persons that had died were gonna be runners? Oh, how he despised runners. They always made him late to see Alphonse, and he really wanted to see his brother today. According to an angel by the name of Nina, a sweet innocent little girl that had died at the age of 5, his younger brother had gotten engaged to their childhood friend, Winry.

A flap of his red wings and he was soaring out of Heaven, the scythe now in his hands. "I know, I know, stop burning already," he muttered, using his speed to get to Texas. Sure enough, there were six people waiting for him. Three of them were staring at their bodies as if it was all just a horrible nightmare, while the other three were screaming at the man who caused the wreck. "He can't hear you," Ed told them, finally getting their attention. "He's alive and you're not. Come with me, it's time for you to be judged." Almost on cue, they all ran towards him, begging him to see their loved ones one last time. "I cannot," he replied, holding his hand up to cease the pleading babble. "I can't give anyone permission to go visit their loved ones nor allow you to contact the living. It simply can't be done." Instantly, the anger started up, as if arguing was going to change their situations.

"Silence!" Ed snapped, his red wings flaring out with anger. "I have my duties! I must take you all to be judged!" One of the women, who was pregnant by the look of it, grabbed Ed's collar as she screamed about being allowed to live again. She wanted to have this baby, it took her ten years to finally get pregnant and she couldn't die now. "I'm sorry, mam," he replied, pushing her off him. "I can't return you to life, it's a sin against the world."

"YOU GODDAMN SHORTY!" she screamed, turning around to run back towards her body. Half of it was on the road, while the other half was thrown somewhere in a tree. With that said, Ed's anger finally snapped. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A MONTY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?!?" he screamed, waving his arms and wings around. "That's it! I tried being kind to you people, but there's no pleasing you!" _'Forgive me, Al,'_ he thought, clapping his hands and slamming them on the ground. The earth rose up, unnoticed by the humans, and surrounded the souls that had tried to run. _'I'm going to be a little late.'_ "Are you ready to listen?"

xxx

The guardian's violet eyes hardly rose to see the departing blond angel off for his jealousy had spiked the very moment Edward mentioned going off for duties. And, by the looks of it, if Edward was going to take away beings who had perished in an accident, Envy would be leaving quite soon to take care of the humans who had survived and the ones who had been injured. Often, in car wrecks, many people felt guilty for the accident and blamed themselves, even if they were not responsible. These people, Envy knew, would require extra attention from a guardian angel to ensure they wouldn't fully take the blame and commit suicide.

The wilting angel stood up slowly after Ed had left, there was no point in waiting around. Making his way to the bathroom where he would enjoy a long soak, Envy found his body was weaker than it was only moments before when he crossed the threshold into Heaven. A soft growl passed through his lips as he entered the bathroom, recalling how an angel who required another's help was often drained of energy and was not able to travel for days on end. Envy collapsed in the bath tub, his chest heaving and his eyes closed tightly. How was he supposed to attend to his duties when he hadn't the energy to rise to his feet?

Irritated by the fact that he was obviously digging his own grave with each mistake he made, he struggled to sit up and rid his body of its clothes. Off went the skin tight tank top and off went the pair of black pants, both items falling to the floor in a crumpled heap on the other side of the bathroom. Next, he took care to lay himself back down without crushing his already pitiful wings and flick the water on. Soon, the black tub (to match his wings) was filling itself with the steamy hot water that ran over his pale body and sent shivers of pleasure along it. After the tub was filled with the _wonderful, splendid_ water, he found himself groping for the regenerating bubbles and dumping them into the water. Soon after, he seized the power sea salt and added it as well and settled into his bubble bath that would, if he soaked long enough, return his energy.

Envy was dreaming. He found himself among other guardian angels, happily chatting with them. His wings were large, at their peak, and full of black, soft feathers. The others standing with him had feathers of white and were talking avidly about how much they envied Envy for the color of his wings. He only grinned at them, his face flushed with life and emotions, as he proceeded to tell them that envying Envy was a sin in itself. And that's when he felt the bow in his hand vibrating, telling him of a pair of souls who desperately needed his skills. The bow, Envy recalled in his slumber, had been distributed onto only the most powerful of guardians and would be, in his dream, taken away from him soon enough.

Once he found the two boys by the names of Edward and Alphonse, he knew that the elder brother was special. His aura was a dimmed red, signaling that once he died, he would become an angel in death with red wings. Envy knew that these angels were particularly rare, but he paid no heed to the thought as he placed his slender hands on the young boy's back. Envy laid his head down on Edward's shoulder and his wings spiked upwards, wrapping themselves around the soul to preserve it as he emitted a strong amount of empathy. Once connected to his soul, he found that it was more damaged than any other Envy had ever tried to repair. But he was determined to save this soul and unleashed a powerful amount of sympathetic vibes into the body he was clutching so desperately on.

And Envy collapsed, every last drop of his power and emotions now coursing through the blond's veins. He shuddered and pushed away, no longer desiring to help and no longer interested in the boy. He squirmed away and tapped into the protected vault of power deep inside of him to return his terrified body back to Heaven. His wings were aching and he was painfully aware that a feather had ripped off of him, its spiritual power would invade some human's body and turn them into an angel once they died.

Envy sat up with a sharp gasp, sending water from his bath tub splashing onto the floor. His chest was heaving once more and his eyes were large, despite the fact that it was bright in the bathroom. The guardian touched his left wing gingerly, caressing the soft, wet feathers with one single, loving motion. His recollection of the past seemed to be enough to spook him away from returning to earth that day. Envy tapped into the mind of another angel, who was currently trying to beat his friend at table tennis, and requested that he take care of the mourning souls of the Texas accident. Once Envy was certain his friend would take care of it, he sank back into the tub. This time, however, he planned on not falling asleep. If Edward returned to find a sleeping, naked guardian angel soaking himself in the bathtub... Well, Envy would become embarrassed enough with just having the other see him so weak. But the thought of Ed coming in whilst he was so vulnerable chilled Envy right to the bone. Despite desperately wanting to stay awake, he fell to sleep once more.


	2. Love and Hate

xxx

Edward was surprised to see that Wrath had taken over Envy's job of sending empathy towards the people who had survived. "Where's Envy?" he asked, grabbing the young angel aside. "He's supposed to be working on these people, isn't he?" Without waiting for an answer, he released young boy and closed his eyes, ignoring the souls that was running away from him at the moment. Envy came first to him; well, Al came first, but Envy was still an important person to him. He was going to do everything he could to help the proud angel. _"Envy?"_ he called, using his thoughts to speak to the pitiful angel. _"Why aren't you coming to help the souls that are alive? What's going on? I'm worried about you."_

Ed cursed himself as he let Envy know that he was worried for the sin. Even after 25 years of being an angel, he still wasn't able to keep certain thoughts private. He didn't mean to let that slip out. Instantly, he focused his attention to the souls running. "HEY! Get back here!" he called, flying after the ones that were trying to run away. This was one of many things that he hated about being the Angel of Death; as he had said so before. There were certain idiots that think that they can outrun death. Sure, some of them do manage to escape from him. Only thing is that those souls end up going to hell because they ran away from him, because they couldn't accept the fact that he was going to take them to their finally destination.

Wait, something was wrong…Ed could feel that something was off. He stopped and looked back towards the East, where his brother lived. This wasn't a good feeling. There was a stabbing pain in his chest. Something was happening to his brother, he was sure of it. After sending the last soul to judgement, his scythe turned red hot again. His golden eyes widened as the scythe filled him with details: his brother was killing people at his work. Alphonse was murdering people, his innocent little brother. No, he wasn't Alphonse anymore.

Edward growled with frustration and raced towards where his brother lived, which sadly, happened to be in Germany. A snarl left his lips as his wings flapped tirelessly towards the building where Al worked. _'Why? Why would you do this, Al? You IDIOT!'_ he thought, trying to go faster. Finally, he made it though he was to late, the police had shot his brother and they were bringing his body out now. Edward glanced around the room where the people were killed, shot by his little brother.

Making sure his hood was up; he entered the room, the tears of sorrow and betrayal streaming down his face. Alphonse stood in the middle of the room, his arms over his head, as the other souls started to yell at him. They were hitting his back, his head, and his stomach, though it had no effect on Al. Al looked so small, helpless, yet his eyes were filled with insanity.

"_I HAD A BABY AT HOME!" "I WAS ABOUT TO GET A PROMOTION!" "MY MOTHER'S SICK, NOW WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF HER NOW?" "YOU SICK FUCK! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL DESTROY YOU!"_ The voices of the angry souls bounced off the walls, echoing in the cold room. With a stifled sob, he lifted his head while his wings flew back, creating a dramatic effect.

"LEAVE HIM!" he screamed, his voice overpowering the souls. "He is mine! Be gone! To judgement and there you'll all find where your final resting place shall be." His voice left no room for argument as they vanished one by one to go towards eternal peace or eternal damnation. He turned around to face his little brother, wanting to know why he killed them all.

Before Edward had gotten a word out, Al had wrapped his arms around Ed's shoulders, sobbing his heart out. "I missed you so much brother," he whispered, kissing Ed's cheek and gripping his cloak. "It's all your fault! If you had left me alone, I WOULDN'T BE DOING THIS! IT'S YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU!" His fist shot out towards Ed's face, though Edward could have dodged it easily. He allowed the fist to make contact with his skull. Wincing as his back hit the wall, his hood fell back, revealing his broken nose and black eye that would heal in no time.

"Alphonse," his ragged voice whispered, the pain filled in his voice. "I…. I'm sorry." He knew the judgement that they were going to give him. The Angel of Life was not merciful but he was fair. He judged them by the soul's sins and sent them to the place they belonged. Sadly, Alphonse had murdered everyone in his office building; the only choice would be that he would go to hell for eternity. "Where I'm sending you…..you can't see me anymore."

With the confused look filling his brother's eyes, Ed transported them to judgement with dread in his heart. Several of the souls had already been judged and it was only a matter of time before Alphonse would be called. Sure enough, a booming voice filled the air, the tall Angel of Life, with golden wings, and holding the Book of Life open, reading his name. "Alphonse Gregory Elric, please step forward."

Alex Louis Armstrong, the strong, yet passionate Angel of Life gazed upon the quivering adult, who was staring up at him with fear and uncertainty. "This is your brother, correct, Edward Elric?" he asked, though he didn't need to. With a nod from the Angel of Death, Armstrong sighed with regret. "To think that such fine brothers would have to spend eternity apart from each other. Alphonse Elric, you have shamed Heaven with your murdering antics and therefore, I'm sorry, but you'll have to be sent to Hell!"

There was a scream of terror that tore from Al's throat as he flung himself at his brother. "BROTHER! HELP ME! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! BROTHER!" he screamed, reaching for Edward's hand. Ed ran towards Armstrong and started begging him. "No please! He's my only brother! Let him pass! Please! Don't send him to hell like mom! Please! Have mercy on him!"

Armstrong touched Ed's shoulder, watching the young Elric be tossed into the fiery chasm below. "I'm sorry Edward, but your brother has killed before. We cannot allow sin into Heaven." He winced when there was a strangled cry that escaped the Angel of Death's throat, and watched with astonished eyes as two or three red feathers fell from the proud red wings.

xxx

Envy's sleeping mind had not expected to encounter another angel's thoughts going through his mind. The other angels rarely contacted him, unless it was an emergency, and if it were an emergency he would have known within moments due to a sharp quiver of what little feathers remained on his once glorious wings. Usually whenever sleeping, dreaming angels received messages, they were stored away in what you could call a personal message machine in their mind and would be repeated once the angel awoke and decided to hear the message. Or, if they angel was not dreaming, the message would wake them up temporarily, repeat itself for their ears to receive and, if they wished, they could then return to bed. But Envy was weak, despite his slowly recovering body (the bubble bath really helped), and his mind was very vulnerable and susceptible, to the point that any other angel could read his thoughts if they tried. Because Ed's mind was also weak from his shock and sorrow, a rare occurrence came to be from the peculiarity of the situation.

A pathway opened between their minds. A long, snaking funnel jammed itself into Edward's mind and allowed Envy's thoughts to pool over the rim of the funnel's edge and into the other's brain. Normally, though this wasn't at all normal, the receiver of the funnel would simply get a few images of the person sleeping wherever they were and perhaps a few dream spikes, if they happened to be dreaming. Envy was dreaming, but his dream was not only vivid and detailed, it was true. Envy would never wish these thoughts onto another angel, but he couldn't help himself and he had no idea that his mind was releasing these things into Ed's already polluted thought stream. And this is what Envy gave Edward to watch:

_It was a single, black feather that had landed on his window sill in the middle of a cold, brisk September morning. It looked like it could've came from a crow, but only he knew the truth as he plucked the feather from the spot and ran his fingers up it. And the truth was, his guardian angel had left it for him. Mother said everyone had a guardian angel who cared for them, so he knew that this feather was a present from his. The young boy, still only a toddler, gave the feather a lick and then pulled back his trousers to drop it safely inside._

_A woman with the kind gaze of a mother in her eyes approached her child with a spoon, full of an unknown liquid that rolled and morphed in the dim lighting of a drab playroom. The rolling liquid reminded him of the small metal marbles that his father had bought him that week and he wondered if his mother had melted them in the pot she made beef stew, then scooped out a bit with her spoon. But she was his mother and he trusted her because his mother knew best. The wooden spoon tilted upwards and the metallic liquid poured into his mouth. He swallowed it, like the cough serum he had been given last year, and smiled to his mother with the look only a child could give, his eyes sparkling with the blissful, ignorant life full of wonder and imagination that every child had._

_The black-haired boy was older now. He was staring at a reflection of himself, eyeing himself with extreme dislike. It was clear he was not yet an adult by the soft stare of his eyes, how they were simply unable to truly loathe his being and still were unaware of all the things that they world had to offer. Despite his unusually pale complexion, his cheeks, nose and lips were a lush shade of red, as if he had been out running in the cold, but he lacked the splotchiness that activity usually provided. No matter how dark and long his hair was, it seemed oddly thin and strangely as it clung to the sides of his heart-shaped face. His skin looked dry and there were spots where flaky spots of flesh resided and if you looked close enough, you may have imagined the boy was turning into a fish because the skin very much resembled fish scales. It was called desquamation, Mother had told him, and it was normal to have it though none of the other boys and girls had it. He pushed a hand with chipped finger nails up against the mirror and his doppelganger followed the motion until their hands met one another. And he was glad, because now there was someone smiling back at him with broken, tartar covered teeth that looked just as hideous as he did. _

_It was dark outside. And no matter how much he loathed the light and embraced the night, he was scared. He had written in the dirt path in front of him, 'Happy Eighteenth Birthday' but was no hastily trying to wipe it away with the same pale, flaky hands he had been cursed with. He looked much the same, only now taller and his hair was even longer. He looked wildly around before his pale eyes landed on a lantern that bobbed down the path, towards him with the inconsistency of an old woman's breasts. The sight of the light imposed two roots of fear within his being. One reason being he hated light naturally. And two being he knew who carried that lantern and what they were going to do with him. Scrambling to his bare feet, he began to ran. And he ran. And he ran. Only the woman behind him ran faster after she abandoned her lantern. And she ran. And she ran. And while they were running, his chest was heaving and his heart was pumping blood so fast that he could feel its fast pulse in the tips of his weathered toes._

_He stood back and stared at his mangled, ugly body. It was like he was his reflection, his very own doppelganger, and he had been ripped right out of the mirror and forced to watch the real him. And the real him laid there, very unable to say anything much less move anything. His mouth was wide open in a scream and his eyes still held the terror of his last moments on earth. There was a lantern beside him and a bloody knife within his own heart, which was laying, stilled and quiet, within his own hand. The chest of the his body had been ripped open, practically sliced in half and then pulled apart like the way father butchered a pig. He felt dizzy and he wanted to puke, unable to imagine that his mother did such a thing and unable to understand why she did such a thing. He stepped backwards, away from the horrific sight._

_Envy stood before the counsel, still scarred by the years he suffered beneath the power of the mercury, and allowed them to send sharp questions his way: _

_"Why did you run?" _

_"I wasn't aware I couldn't."_

_"You have a feather of an angel?"_

_"I had one, yes."_

_Eventually, they muttered their approval, and appointed him with the job of guardian angel. Envy had said he wouldn't mind that job and he do a splendid job because of his uncanny ability to sympathsize and understand humans. He knew what it was like to lose a best friend, like his puppy George. And he knew what it was like to be hated, like by a mother. And he knew what it was like to not be beautiful, like himself. And he knew what it was like to have a sickness, like himself. By the rotundness of his emotions and experiences, he made a great angel._

_He was presented with a bow by Alex Louis Armstrong (who he was close enough to refer to him as Alex in the presence of rookies, making them swoon with jealousy), something only training Angels of Death and Angels of Love received. All of his friends gathered around in pure envy and requested him to try it out, give it a good test run. His wings, towering and the color of the ocean during the night, stood more magnificently than any of his friends small, dainty snow-white set. The counsel had granted his wish and made him pretty, so he could at least be happy in that manner in heavy. Long, black hair that shimmered a color of seaweed green clung down along his slender, pale frame and his eyes were a relaxing shade of purple that many of his friends were able to get lost in. Envy's life could only be described as perfect._

_He clung onto the boy Ed's shoulders, wings wrapped around their body. Even as a memory, the waves of energy were strong enough to make any observer of the scene that happened long ago feel a rush of euphoria. Envy pressed himself more forcefully against the boy and now his energy was draining, he was losing all hope to live and survive this massive transfer of energy. Feathers were shedding in every direction and he was glad Ed was already destined to be an angel, or else he would've wondered if his brother killed a crow within the room. And, very quietly, once Envy's transfer of feelings and empathetic waves were complete, he leaned to the soft, fleshy ear and whispered: _

_'I love you.' _

The transmission was lost at that point. Probably due to such a large amount of information being passed from one angel to the next. But more likely because both angels were drained from losing feathers, even though Envy had lost dozens and Ed only lost a few, the first few were the hardest to lose. Envy's exhausted body remained within the bath, water slowly sloshing over its edges onto the tiled floor below as the container for both angel and water filled itself past the point of maximum capacity. The angel, despite the amount of memories he had just pumped straight from his mind into that of another's, stayed asleep and unaware that he had just told his entire life story, or its main events, to the person he pretended was his enemy --- though he actually loved.

xxx


	3. Regret and Pain

xxx

"BROTHER!" Alphonse cried, reaching out for his brother's hand. "PLEASE! DON'T LET ME GO TO HELL!" Behind him, a large doorway appeared in the wall. Alphonse turned around and stared at it with fear. "NO! This isn't fair! Please! It's not my fault! Don't let me go to hell, BROTHER!" His grey/blue eyes filled with tears as the sound of the Gate opening filled echoed against the pure white walls of the Judgement Room. "Oh, Brother, please! I'm sorry!"

_CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAK!_

The doors opened up and thousands of eyes stared down at the doomed soul. Maniacal laughter slowly filled the room as long tendrils slowly inched forward to take Alphonse to Hell. This was the Gateway to both Hell and Purgatory; no one ever escaped from the Gate. No matter how fast they ran, the Gate always managed to catch its prey. The slimy black tendrils wrapped their arms around the young Elric's waist, causing the boy to scream. The Gate laughed louder, as if it enjoyed the torment it put its victims through.

Arms and legs lashed out as Alphonse struggled to get away. "BROTHER!" he cried again, tears running down his face as the tendrils began stripping his clothes off. "BROTHER PLEASE!" He struggled to get the Angel of Death who was hunched in a corner; his golden eyes had a blank, haunted look. "BROTHER! I promise I'll be good! Just get them to stop! I'm begging you! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Gate was now tearing off his limbs, laughing at his pain and suffering.

"Welcome to hell, young one!" the Gate hissed, pulling the now disfigured and bloody body into their midst. The doors let out another loud groan as they slid shut. It was then that Edward Elric let out a shaky sob and ran towards the vanishing Gate.

"GIVE HIM BACK!" The small angel screamed, his wings thinning as his fists began pounding on the door. "Al! AAAALPHONSE!" He could still hear his brother's, along with many other voices, scream from the torment and anguish of their punishment in Hell. His fists pounded on the door, begging the Gate to open so that he could save his brother. "Please…take anything you want! My heart, my limbs, my wings, my stomach, my mind! Anything you want! Just give him back. HE'S MY ONLY BROTHER!" His anguished mind and along with the open connection with Envy's mind, his head began filling with images that he never wanted to see. A child being killed by his own mother, then…his mother's funeral, from when she committed suicide because their father left them all alone. She had killed herself with a gun right in front of them. Made her brain and such, splatter the wall in front of them as she fell to the ground. The memory still haunted the older Elric.

He slumped to the ground and his red wings trembled, more feathers falling out until they were now nearly as barren as the black winged angel, Envy. "He…IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!" he roared, grabbing his scythe from the ground where it fell. "He…it's his fault that I'm…. like this! It's his fault that I'm not with Al right now!" He was suddenly shadowed by a huge figure, almost causing him to attack out of reflex. His distraught mind could not tell friend from foe at this moment.

"Whose fault?" Came the booming voice of Armstrong, his golden wings wrapping around the tiny Angel of Death. "Whatever this person has done, he saved you an eternity of misery and pain, yet you blame him for what has happened to your brother?" Armstrong's baby blue eyes gazed down at the distraught Angel, filled to the brim with tears. There were times where he questioned God's tactics, such as times like these, where families were forced to split apart and they had to carry the knowledge that their family is down in Hell for all eternity. That was Hell for them, but he knew better than everyone else, that you were not allowed to question God's rules. "What has happened to your brother is a tragedy but there is nothing we can do." _'Don't blame yourself, young one. You are the youngest Angel of Death…you have seen many with your golden gaze, but this is truly the worst for you.'_ he thought.

Edward's hands shot out, as if to attack the strong angel in front of him. He wasn't listening to a word that Armstrong was saying. The only thing was running through his mind was that he was now living in Heaven, away from his brother. It was all Envy's fault! If Envy had saved both of them, there wouldn't be this problem. With a cry of rage and his eyes changing color, a blood red from a luscious sun gold, he flew as fast as he could, leaving a trail of moulted red feathers. _"Prepare yourself, Envy!"_ he called through the mind link. _"I'll make you pay for what you did to me and my brother!" _

Suddenly, Edward stopped when he was at the door of where Envy lived and he couldn't believe what he was doing. He was becoming…a sin, something that could cost you everything…yet what did he have to lose. His mind raced as he leaned against the door, sobbing hard against the old wood that looked almost new. "What am I going to do?" he cried, falling to his knees in a swift movement. "Help me…" His voice came out as wailing moan, attracting the attention of several angels in the area. Some stared at him with sympathy and some stared at him with a repulsed look. After all, the proud Angel of Death's wings where turning into something hideous.

"Why? Why couldn't you have left us alone?" he begged, shaking hard as he huddled against the door. He didn't dare go in, not for fear of Envy seeing him like this. His face ruined by the tears, sweat, and snot that ran down in small streams, his ruined black robe that was soaked from his brother's blood and tears, and let's not forget his rather pathetic red wings that once made angels and souls alike quiver with envy. Yes, the mighty have fallen, and it amazed the Elric at how fast he had fallen. "Why? Why didn't you heal Alphonse to? He was suffering more than I was! He….he……HE NEEDED YOU MORE THAN I DID!" Even though he screamed it out, he knew the words were hollow. He was…grateful, possibly to the black winged angel though it didn't make since as to why he forgot about Envy.

His memory wandered towards Mustang teaching him about why the souls never remember their Guardian Angels when they got to Heaven. He looked at the door and touched it with his fingertips as he quoted his Boss. " 'Because it's Heaven's way not to remember who your Angel was because that was the way things are done. Angels do not work for the praise that souls may give them if they remember, but rather they work for the feeling that they were able to change a life. That is what the Guardian Angels work for."

Yet, why were Envy and he loosing their feathers? Was it due to the fact of a horrible event that happened to them? With Envy, he became drained of his ability and power when he helped Edward…and Edward…. well, his brother was taken away from him. Suddenly, the golden eyes blurred again as a fresh onslaught of tears ran down his face. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, Alphonse!" he whispered, holding his head. It felt as if it was about to split open wide. It's been years since he has felt this pain…like the time when he first died.

He shook his head rapidly, not wanting to relive the last moments of his life just now. He couldn't relive them again, no matter how many times it entered his mind. He always blocked off what exactly happened the day he died. His reasons where that he could not deal with the pain his death brought him. Edward slammed his head against the door, yelping at the pain that quickly healed. Pain helped at times; sometimes he would place the scythe against his bareback to cut his skin to keep the memories from coming back. Not that he enjoyed cutting himself; he just didn't want to remember what it was like to die.

His pain disappeared as quickly as it came when the door opened and Envy himself stood there with shocked and angry eyes. Edward's own eyes became blank and filled with horror and tears as he glanced at the face of the one who saved him, but not his brother. "Why…" he whispered, his voice unable to speak as loudly as it used to. "Why did you only save me? Why couldn't you send another angel to help my brother? He was…he was…. THE ONLY FAMILY I HAD LEFT!" The red winged angel finally screamed out his despair as the answer to his own question wandered into his mind. _Envy had loved him and that was the reason why he was spared._

_He was loved by an angel._

xxx

A sick, bubbling feeling had surfaced within the pit of Envy's stomach to unnerve the resting angel. It was impossible for heavenly beings, such as Envy, to simply get sick. At least, it was impossible to get physically ill, not mentally. In fact, Envy knew quite a few angels who had lost their minds. These were angels that, during life, had failed to suffer horrors of the world and were suddenly presented with a ghastly situation on the job. Realizing that he wasn't sick nor going mad, Envy decided it would be best to simply ignore the feeling and get into bed to sleep.

Shakily, carefully, he clambered out of the no longer comforting tub of steaming water and bubbles. He paused in front of the mirror reflection of himself, memories rising to the surface of his mind. Slowly, his dripping body and wings were carried in front of the mirror, one of his hands rising briefly to swipe away the condensation. Gazing into the eyes of his twin in the mirror, he realized for the first time how  
truly beautiful he was. His damp, black hair with a tinge of green to it clung to the sides of his face while slipping down and over his pallid, bony shoulder. Water clung to his body, rolling in little balls all over his frail frame. They traced the curves and lines of his muscles to sink into the depressions they created.

It was a mistake to stare so lovingly at one's reflection. For eventually, Envy found a flaw that set his blood on fire and his mind ablaze. His cheeks, he discovered, were flushed a bright red and almost instantly he recalled the boy who stared at his reflection every day in the mirror. The same, little boy who lovingly reached to the only one who was just as ugly as he was. That irritatingly, stupid little child who thought his mother loved him, who thought his mother was feeding him to get rid of the disease. That stupid, naïve child irritated Envy.

A sickly, cackling laugh ripped itself from Envy's lips as he stared at his dying reflection. It was horrible, ugly and Envy couldn't bare it anymore. Everywhere he looked on his body there were memories of the past that had suddenly surfaced. His skin had bits that were flaky and his teeth were nowhere near a perfect white. His cheeks were flushed (this was the only flaw that he didn't imagine, for they were red due to the steamy bath) and his hair had become straggly. He was reverting back to that sick little boy who imagined that angels left feathers on his window sill.

"I hate you," He whispered to the imaginary reflection his mind had created due to the nervous anxiety that bubbled in his stomach. Perhaps he was going mad.  
Fancy that, an ugly persona to match an ugly body and face. No, he couldn't be ugly. He was always pretty before so why should he just become so hideous out of the blue? "I hate you." He growled once more, now trembling with teeth sharply clenched.

Raising a curled fist, he didn't even consider the chaos he was going to create. He _hated_ that person in the mirror and surely, by destroying that  
mirror, he would free himself of the haunted, expressionless childhood he had lived as a human. A screech ripped itself from his raw throat as his knuckles collided with the glass and sent pieces into his flesh. It hurt to free the past. Ha. How ironic, the past hurt but it hurt more to release it from the prison of his mind. Envy could've laughed, had he not been yowling in wounded pain.

Stumbling backwards, he clutched onto his wrist while watching the blood drip along his white, pallid skin. "W-Why…?" He whispered, not quite sure as to why he had smashed his fist into the mirror anymore. His gaze was to the shattered shards of the mirror, lying in the sink and on the floor. More than one of those pieces was splattered with the blood from his newly created wound. Envy winced and turned around, his wilting black wings flaring up. His hand moaned in pain, quiet and nearly unnoticeable (save for the fact that blood continued to leak from his broken skin).

"Nn…" He groaned as he clattered through the cupboards, searching for bandages to wrap his hand and tweezers to remove the shards that were smaller and had embedded themselves further within his skin. Finally finding the items, Envy now dragged himself into his bedroom. Laying his hand upon the pure black dresser, Envy's other, unharmed hand, snaked to the cuts and (at an antagonizing rate) began to pluck the shards of glass from his flesh. "G-gah…" Envy gasped, his eyes squeezing tightly together out of the pain.

Once he had freed as many pieces as he possibly could, he wrapped the fresh, white linen around his wrist several times before snaking it up and through his thumb, over the back of his hand and over the tops of his knuckles. "There," He said proudly as he stared down at his wrapping job. "I wonder how I hurt you, anyways." Envy hummed happily, his body felt so much better after such a long, relaxing bath. He continued to hum as he walked into his closet, selecting an outfit that combined fishnets, a tank top and a skirt. "Perfect"

Another giggle leapt from his lips as he collapsed on the floor, ignoring the squish of his wet body against the plain colored carpet. He wasn't quite sure _why_ the carpet was squishing underneath his body, as he couldn't even recall taking a bath nor could he recall forgetting to dry himself after the incident with the mirror; which he, also, was unable to remember. A little groan spilled through his lips as he snagged the fishnet tights and slowly began to pull them up his legs, tugging them as carefully as possible so as not to cause the very easily broken material to snap. "There we go," He mumbled to himself as he hiked it up higher until the criss-cross pattern went from his ankles all the way up to his mid-thigh.

The shirt followed the fishnet décor on his legs and arms, curving around each and ever very visible curve of his muscled body He couldn't help but grin at his reflection in the full-length mirror. And, as if the event that had came about only moments before returned to haunt his subconscious, he quickly tore his gaze  
away.

Now, his pallid hand went forwards to wrap its thin fingers around the black, leathery skirt. In an awkward manner that was reminiscent of a young girl, he lifted one leg up and slipped it forwards into the parting between the two sides of the skirts. The  
opposite leg soon followed its partner into the skirt and he stood after the black material had been hiked all the way up until at least half of his ass was  
visible.

There weren't many laws that governed Heaven once you got there. One may think that in order to gain entrance to Heaven, you had to walk the straight and narrow all of your life. And this is true, there aren't many things one who it on the path to the  
righteous life could do without ruining the chance to Heaven. But once you gain your soul status, you're allowed to do as you please. And angels were even more privileged, because they were allowed to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted so long as their job got done. So Envy's outfit, no matter how revealing  
and how provocative it was, was acceptable.

Now making his way from the room while carefully balancing himself in vinyl black stilettos, Envy managed to find himself gracefully descending down the staircase and into the kitchen. Once he had made it into the plain, black and white kitchen, he seized the ingredients for a power shake to jump-start his day. And while he was searching for the items, his violet eyes grazed across the heavily bandaged hand and  
wrist.

_Ugly._

_You're so ugly._

He twitched and dropped the plastic jar of nutmeg he had been holding to the ground, fingers undergoing spasms and failing to clutch onto the smooth surface properly. Envy, had his mind been open to his surroundings at the current moment, would have sworn heavily and jumped away to glare at the jar before bending over, scooping it up and resuming his daily chores. Once more, in this silent lapse of memories he had fallen into, Envy drifted away from reality to recall the cruelty of his childhood.

_"M-Momma," The shivering boy whispered as he peered from over the tops of the covers at that woman. Her short bobbed haircut fell nicely against her pretty shaped face as she tilted her head to the side. "Wh-Why am I so ugly… W-Why won't Daddy look at me…?"_

_"Because," The lady whispered in response, a venomous smile hidden beneath the raspberry colored, pursed lips. "He hates you. You're only hideous because your  
father makes you be hideous, so why don't you just lay on down…? Try to get some rest, maybe it will be better in the morning…"_

_The sharp noise of her sharp high heels against the tiled floor died away along with the light in his room. He whimpered and clutched tightly onto the sheets, yanking them higher above his head. Over on his nightstand, there lay a large, plain black  
feather; a present to show that he was loved, if not by Mommy and Daddy, then by an angel._

_And if an angel loved you, what could ever possibly get wrong? No, he had heaven on his side. He was special._

His violet eyes shot open at the knock on the door that forced him out of his once peaceful memory lapse. A glare stilled itself within his irises and he snapped his head to the side, glaring fiercely at the door. Someone was interrupting him, someone was determined to fuck with him today. A growl pulled itself from his lips and he stepped up off of the ground (how he had fallen down in the first place, he wasn't sure). Beginning to the door, his being the very epitome of danger and irritation, Envy wrapped slender fingers around its brass knob and yanked the door harshly.

" . . . " He stared, almost breaking into a very tiny smile at the sight of Edward. But somehow, his hatred for the interruption of his peace forced his smile into an even worse glare. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He growled, lips twitching up into a slow smile. No, no smiling. His brain screamed at him, forcing the smirk back into a glare.

xxx


	4. Envy and Wrath

xxx

The Angel of Death gazed into Envy's glare and for some reason; it angered him to have Envy speak to him like that. "What…. do you mean 'what the fuck am I doing here'?" he snarled, slowly getting to his feet. His red eyes and his loss of red feathers should have been a clue for the Guardian Angel, that something was not right. It pissed Edward off that Envy would be….so…so uncaring to him? Even though, the Angel nearly used up all his power to save him, the golden haired boy was unable to forgive the bastard what he had done. "Do you hate me, Envy, former Captain and Leader of the Guardian Angels? Do you despise me for taking away your power, Envy, son of Dante? " He asked spitefully, using the green haired angel's full name.

His sun-kissed eyes turned blood-red with rage as he lunged at the sickly yet beautiful angel before him. "WHY DO YOU HATE ME FOR I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG?!?" His cries echoed in the large house, making him feel even lonelier inside. He raised his fist and began to allow it to descend upon the angel's face. He froze at the last second as his mind went into a mental instability. "Oh God," he whispered, pushing himself off Envy quickly. He stared at his hands, which were covered with his brother's dried blood, and screamed as loud as he could.

Pain was evident on his face as his mind began to shatter. He stood in the hallway, staring at the many versions of himself in the mirrors in the hallways. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" he screamed, covering his ears as he trembled violently. His legs failed to keep him up and fell to the ground with a small gasp. The mirrors, they were mocking him.

His golden eyes returned to the blood red as he glanced at Envy's face. "Al……..Al," he whined, trying to find his brother. He had never been without his brother like this. Sure, they were separated when he died, but he always got to visit his brother while Al was sleeping. Now, Ed couldn't see his little brother ever again. That news kicked him hard in the stomach as he grabbed Envy's arm. "Why…does God allow brothers to spend eternity apart?" He whispered, pulling Envy down close to him. "It's my fault! I made him shoot his employees!" He sobbed against Envy's chest hard before shoving the pale angel away from him.

A strange laugh ripped from his throat as he covered his face with his hand. Red tears dripped down his face and splashed on the black marble floor. "Alphonse!" he garbled, his ruined wings flapping hard against his back. His laughter began to pick up volume, the shrieking sound echoing off the walls. His stomach lurched violently and he found himself lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. It was clear that the boy was in pain, though placing a bandage over the wound couldn't heal this kind of pain.

It was here that the bitter truth about the Angel of Death was finally revealed. Edward Elric, the Mighty and Proud Angel with red wings, was a coward. He wasn't brave like some of the angels had pictured him; neither was he an angel that deserved such a high position in the angelic community. Hell, Ed still refused to remember what happened when he died. He often faked amnesia when questioned about his death.

It wasn't that his death was horrible or life shattering. He simply burned alive in the library he was locked in by accident. Still, for Edward, his death was horrible to relive. The pain of seeing his little brother scream as they brought his body out, or the pain of watching the fire fighters shove him unceremoniously into a body bag was just too much for his mind to comprehend. After all, he was merely 16 when the original Angel of Death came for him. It was a shock for him to see his burnt blackened body with the only thing that made him recognizable was his wide golden eyes that were dimmed from death.

Still, Ed refused to let his death go. For an angel, to be able to acknowledge how you died was a great feat, for it was the most devastating thing that could happen to a human being. Yet, here was the Angel of Death, Edward Elric, and he still refused to be able to acknowledge his death. This was one of the many reasons why Edward looked up to the strong angel, Envy. Envy had managed to remember his death and accept it, though it seemed as if he had a long way to go when it came to healing. See, Heaven was not all sunshine and roses like the humans seemed to believe.

Heaven was a place where you went if you were good, Hell was the place you went when you were bad. That part, the humans had right, but the truth of it was that in Heaven, you could still suffer. Only the one causing your suffering was yourself. In Heaven, the only way you could have pure bliss was when you accepted your death and began the long journey of healing your soul. For Edward, he was still in denial about his death. Maybe that was the reason why God sent Al to Hell.

That had to be the reason. It was all God's fault! He was the reason why Al decided to go ballistic. God knew that this would happen which was why Ed had taken over the job as the Angel of Death. "Yes, that is the reason," he mumbled, lying on the floor as his red eyes slowly dimmed back into gold. "God knew…God wants me to suffer. God made Envy suffer, now I am to suffer as well. This is my Hell. God wants me to be punished for not believing in him. God…yes, it is God's fault." He muttered quietly, apparently unable to distinguished reality from fiction.

His blank eyes gazed at the broken angel in the mirror. A broken angel with red wings with no feathers. A broken angel who was suffering from the lost of his brother. The broken angel in the mirror was he. With a guttural moan, he sat up and stared at his reflection. "Why does God hate us, Envy?" he asked, wrapping his arms around his legs. "He sent mother to Hell for killing herself, now he sent Al to Hell. I don't know about Father, I haven't heard anything about that bastard. I don't really care." He buried his hands into his knees and began sobbing. It wasn't fair that he now had to spend all of eternity without his brother. It wasn't fair that he couldn't see any of this family right now.

"Why…does God think that it would be okay if He takes us away from our families. God could have forgiven Al, right? He could have allowed Al in. Sin or no sin right? Al was so innocent." Ed's entire body shook violently as the sobbing came harder. "Al was…Al was a good boy, he loved… oh God please, don't take him." His hands were removed from his face, his small fingers curling up into fists. "I hate Him," Ed snarled, his rage now consuming his sense of morality. "I hate God for what He did to my family!"

Edward's body burned with hatred as he stood up, grabbing the scythe that has fallen on the floor. "I'll…get revenge for what He did to Alphonse. He will be sorry for messing with the Elrics." His tanned arm pushed Envy aside, his anger consuming him. Most people don't know this, but the seven deadly sins were actually a group of Angels/Devils that expressed their hatred for God and tried to take God's very being away. Even Angels were not immune to the dangers of becoming Sins. In Edward's case, he was quickly becoming Brother Wrath and if he continued down this path of destruction, he would be cast out of Heaven and sent to Hell. His red wings will become scarred and burned until they were nothing but stumps remaining of the proud wings that made many Angels envy their greatness.

"Out of my way, Envy," Ed snarled, shoving the white angel against the mirrors in the hallway. His teeth began lengthening to become fangs; his eyes glittered with hatred as he raised his scythe to kill the man who destroyed his life. "You'll be the first to become my victim. Where is God now?!?" His rage made the entire house shake and groan from the evil within its halls. The skin on his body began to crumple as he returned to the state he was in before he was allowed in the gates of Heaven. Skin gathered around his feet as the musky scent of burnt flesh surrounded them. "WHERE IS GOD NOW?!?"

xxx

Throughout the entire process of Edward's descending sanity, Envy remained quiet, silent and observing. His lips were drawn tight into a thin line as he stood there, fists clenched tightly at his sides as he stared blankly ahead. Already the dark aura surrounding the blond-haired male was beginning to become putrid and made Envy sway with slight dizziness. The malice and hatred that swirled through the air was unbearable and it managed to cover up most of the sorrow and confusion that Envy could barely detect. This angel was in danger, he recognized that fact and accepted it without a word or thought to the matter. The wilting red wings were almost laughable now, bones that had once been shrouded in many bright, lush feathers were now blank and dry, nothing but a little fuzz covering the skeletal appendages now. It was sickening and if he hadn't seen the process happen to his own body, perhaps he would've collapsed to the ground with fatigue, spewing up whatever his stomach held. Even now, however, he wanted to turn away from their ghastly appearance. Not even he had gone through such a depression where his wings lost every feather they held. Not even he had cried tears of blood. Not even he had felt such a rage towards the Father Almighty. This was a mistake, surely. Edward was a good angel, this was simply an act he was putting on.

The scythe that Ed held above his head made him snap from the blissful thoughts. The long, dangerous weapon gleamed gleefully in the air and he watched, enchanted, as a shine of light slid down the run of the blade and glinted in his amethyst, catlike eyes. The light was bright and it caused him to blink once or twice before he turned the violently violet optics over onto the boy pushing him against what Envy suspected, do to its cool, slipperiness, to be one of the mirrors in his hallway. He didn't flinch as he stared at the other, waiting for the cruel blow of death. Why bother moving out of the way? Everyone had to die eventually and angels were no exception. But... Why did he have to die simply because some formerly important angel decided to go insane? He didn't have to, not yet.

"Don't do this, Edward." He whispered quietly, voice soft as silk as he stared at the blond sin-developing angel. "You're not like this. You're just hurt right now." Envy knew exactly what Edward was going through and had already experienced it himself as many other angels had. That was, after all, why he was known as Envy. He had been halfway through the process of becoming the demon composed of malice, spite and envy when a spurt of angelic energy filled his body and halted the evil that had been dominating for so long. Thus, he was demoted and became known as the darkest and worst angel of the generation. No longer were his wings full and heavy with spirit but limp and thin, as was his hair as a child. But still, he was saved from the hell of being a sin, tortured and tormented for all eternity in the underworld. And all because another angel had stopped to correct him, to fix his mistakes and bring him back into the light.

Envy knew he was stronger than the younger at the moment, anyway, and slid his arms up, pressing them onto Ed's shoulders. He was crooning quietly, stroking the length of the boy's arms, violet eyes slid shut. "Your brother got the punishment he did because he committed a sin, a very horrible sin. Taking the life of another is wrong, you and I both know that." His eyes were still, unmoving now as they stared down into the smoldering eyes of gold. "But you must remember that, even though you blame God for his death, he had his own choices to make. God gave him the chance to do something good and he didn't, instead he killed all of those people..." He took a deep breath, stroking the arm as he gazed down onto the other. "There's only one way to save you, the same way I was saved. Your wings will, regretfully, suffer from the treatment, but it's the only way to save your soul from damnation."

Closing his eyes tight now, he began the process that had, perhaps, helped to create this entire situation. His mind slit open and memories pooled out, Envy carefully directing them into Edward's open, vulnerable brain. "I'm sorry," He whispered, tightening his eyes shut further as he forced the memories inside. "I should've done more to save you." Trembling slightly as he finished the complicated process, he collapsed forwards, falling against the soon-to-be-sin's chest. But the memories still pushed onwards, shoving themselves deep into the mind and replaying themselves in front of Edward's eyes.

There was an overlooking view of a large building, a building Edward may have recognized as the library in which he died. It was at a bird's eye view that slowly descended, swooping and slipping down like a bird to the library. A pale hand pressed itself onto a frosty window and the gaze dropped as a pair of white, dirty feet slipping onto a wide edge, toes gripping to hold the body upright. Now it was looking inside, past the cold reflection of a green-haired angel with large black wings, at the going ons within the library. The look on Envy's face in the glass was that of exhaustion and worry, clearly there was something very troubling on his mind and this incident was only making it worse. He was crawling through the window now, slipping into the musty room and looking around quickly. There was a boy with braided blond hair at a table, books surrounding him, his head bowed down and cheek stuck to a piece of paper he had been writing on. He's okay, good... I just need to get him out of here before the trouble starts... Thoughts that were not Edward's entered his mind, drifting lazily through the memory.

Envy's view flickered and now zoomed out, so it fell into a third person's point of view. Envy strode to stand beside the younger, living Edward and shook him slightly, only to have his hands pass through the boy. A panicked look crossed his face and he tried repeatedly, only to fail each and every time. From somewhere far off in the library, there was a distant, quiet shriek of 'Fire!' and Envy's panicked look grew even stronger. "Shit," He whispered, shaking the shoulders he couldn't touch even harder. "Shit, shit, shit!" The guardian paced hastily through the room, tapping his chin and biting the tip of his tongue. And then, he was walking back over to Ed, placing his hands carefully over the other's shoulder and whispering a prayer that should've protected the boy from any trouble. "Hear my prayer, Dear God Almighty..." A tear trailed down his cheek and he tore at his hair, black wings flapping desperately. Flames were licking at the edges of the bookshelves and tore away at the paper, destroying it on contact. His charge was waking now, screaming and panicking, and Envy could do nothing for him. He collapsed to the ground on his eyes, staring with blank, purple eyes as he watched the boy light up on fire, a horrible death. And the flames slowly engulfed him as well, only he was not affected by the worldly pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The black angel sobbed, the memory slowly fading away and the present Envy, pressed against Edward, whispered the same thing in unison. "I'm sorry,"

xxx


	5. Fire and Ice

xxx

Edward's body filled with pain as he watched his own death from Envy's eyes. He could still smell the stench of burning hair, flesh and clothes. He could still feel the pain from the hellish blaze that licked at his skin. It was horrible…he didn't want to do this anymore. He screamed as loud as he could, drowning out Envy's apologies. "NO MORE! GOD, PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE!" he screamed, trying to escape from the firm hold the Guardian Angel had on him. "Please, make it stop." He begged desperately, trying to get away from the memories. His nails clawed at the pale skin, leaving trails of bright red marks all down the sobbing angel's arm.

His laughable wings flapped desperately, as if to get him away from the onslaught of memories that made his head spin. Bile rose to the back of his throat and he released it all over Envy's front as the smell choked him. It was all part of the hideous and painful way for an angel to have eternal happiness in heaven. Yet, sadly, there were few angels that went mad from reliving their deaths. Edward was slowly becoming one of those few angels who became insane. "NO! IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO BAD!" he wailed, his voice echoing off the many mirrors in the hallway.

Suddenly his body went slack as he pressed his face against Envy's vomit covered chest. Tears of red streaming down his gaunt cheeks. The Angel of Death was now reliving his last moment on Earth through his eyes instead of Envy's now. It didn't matter if he wanted to or not. He was being forced into it and it was taking a toll on his body.

A 16 year old boy stared at the philosophy book that he was reading. "So damn tired," he muttered, rubbing his eyes. It had been several weeks before he was able to get a decent night's sleep. Ever since his mother died, Al had been unable to sleep. It was like his brother was forcing himself to go through this painful ceremony of trying to preserve his mother's way. Night after night, Alphonse would wait until Ed was asleep before he would sneak out and sit on the front step, as if to wait for Mom to come home. It was a pathetic attempt and Alphonse had gotten sick three times because of it. He shook his head and sighed, closing the book. "No sense in trying to tell him that Mom won't ever come back," he murmured, picking up another book to occupy him.

The fire in the corner of the library crackled merrily as he read slowly. Little did the boy know was that there was a small spark that fell on some papers left by the librarian and that they were smouldering lightly. Edward ignored the smell in the air as he began reading about how to help his brother from torturing himself mentally. It was hard for him. The way his brother wouldn't talk, even when Ed broke down and allowed Alphonse to have a kitten. The blank look on his brother's eyes was hard for him. It shouldn't shock the 16 year-old though, their mother did die right in front of them.

Shivers ran down his back as he remembered the way Trisha cried when she placed the gun against her temple and pulled the trigger. The blood that splattered all over them and the pieces of bone and brains that clung to the wall was a bit to much for the golden haired boy to remember. When the doctor examined their mother, he said that she had some kind of illness that attacked her brain and it made her do irrational things. But why did it force her to take her own life? It didn't make sense. Mama was fine! She didn't look sick!

His golden eyes looked blanked as he began to relive the moments at Mama's funeral. He was upset…almost upset enough to follow in his mother's footsteps. But as they were putting his mother in the ground, he felt the feeling of peace, hope, and love. He felt like everything was going to be okay. He stopped crying and watched the casket being buried. He lifted his head to the sky and noticed, out of the corner of his eye, a being with beautiful black wings flying off. He whirled his head around to see if what he saw was real, but he couldn't see it anymore. Shrugging his shoulders, he put his arms around his little brother and held him close. Everything was going to be alright, that he swore to Alphonse right there. He was going to take care of his brother and maybe, just maybe, he'll get to feel that pleasant sensation again…or maybe see that beautiful creature again.

Edward shook his head and continued reading. Now was not the time to be bringing up memories of the past. Alphonse was in pain. He had to work hard to give Al that feeling of peace and goddammit! He was going to do it! The clock in the upstairs area let out its hourly chimes.

BONG

Edward's golden eyes began to lower. His head felt heavier as he tilted forward.

BONG

The world was growing darker. His vision caught a glimpse of a being with black wings and dirty white skin in the corner of his eye. Angel? No…he was just tired.

BONG

Sleep sounded good. Yes, Edward needed it. Was that a scream of despair?

BONG

Drool escaped from the corner of Ed's mouth as he let out a soft snore. Thick black smoke began to fill the air as he shifted in his sleep. He shivered as a cold feeling swept through his body. He shouldn't be cold. It was 80 degrees outside. Why was he cold?

BONG

He couldn't fight it anymore. He had to… His firm body slumped against the table as he finally lost consciousness.

Screams of fire and the shrill shriek of the smoke detector woke him up with a fright as he struggled to get out of the chair. With a loud and inappropriate curse, he fell back against the floor, the chair hitting it with a loud clunk. "What's going on?" he shouted, blinking back tears as the harsh smoke filled his lungs. His heart pounded as he screamed from at the fire in the library, the heat burning at his skin. He stared at it with fearful eyes as sparks began to burn through his clothes. The pain of the flames burning his flesh spurred him into action and he ran to the window, only to realize with horror that he was trapped. "Oh no…I can't….NO! NO!" he screamed as the flames circled him. He could see faces in the fire. No! He was hallucinating! He spun around in circles, trying to get out of this place! The denim of his pants heated from the rising inferno. "God no, I need to go home! I NEED TO BE WITH AL!" He wept freely, his knees knocking against each other.

Loud creaking noises filled the smoked filled library. He could hear something heavy pounding on the door up in the front of the library, but his mind quickly calculated and he determined…that they weren't going to be able to find him in time. He was all the way in the back of the library, there was no way- A loud cracking noise above his head called his attention and he looked up. The building was collapsing! He let out a scream of surprise and dodged out of the way…only to have the burning wood pin his legs to the ground. Pain shot through his body as the burning wood began to sear his flesh.

'This can't be happening!' he thought, trying to wiggle out from under it. He glanced around, seeing a creature with black wings staring at him with horrified eyes. "HELP ME!" he screamed, holding his hand out. "PLEASE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Tears began to make clean streaks down his filthy face. There was a flash of light and a scream of pain as Edward's entire body began to slowly engulf into flames. The pain was unbelievable and he sobbed as every part of his body began to turn black and crispy. "Help…me," he begged, unable to keep himself conscious.

He awoke with a scream as he began to touch his body. "I…I'm okay?" he asked, feeling the shock wear off. Only, it didn't last long. The flames were still everywhere and the banging on the door had stopped. Men poured in with long heavy coats and masks covering their faces. "What the hell took you so long?" he said, standing up with ease. "I almost burned-" He stopped when one of the fire fighters ran right through him. "What…the.." he whispered, turning around. He stared at the fire fighter that was bent down over something. "This one didn't make it. Looks to be a male with blond hair and golden eyes. Probably 12 or 13."

Ed's eyes widened and he pushed past the fire fighter. It was…his body. Only, it was him but he was burnt and his hair looked like was frazzled. "My hair always did weird things when it got hot," he muttered, unable to process the information. He was there……but he was also here. Only when the fire fighters pulled his body from under the wood did he realize that he was screaming at the top of his lungs. "I'M NOT DEAD! FIX ME! GODDAMMIT! I'M NOT DEAD! I'M RIGHT HERE!" he was screaming, trying to get people to notice him. "PLEASE! I'M NOT DEAD!"

"They can't hear you," a voice said behind him. This voice sounded old, yet it was gentle…like his mother's. "You are dead. You are Edward Elric, are you not?" Black hair that looked like it was rolled up in many weaves spilled out from under the hood. "Come, Judgement awaits you." The woman waved an arm that gestured towards a doorway that appeared behind her.

Edward whirled around to stare at a woman with brilliant red wings and a hood over her head. "Who're you?" he asked, pointing a finger at the being. "How come you have wings? What the hell is going on? Where's Alphonse?" He took several steps back as the woman raised a spear high above her head. He trembled and he lost it when the sound of a body bag being zipped up filled his ears. "NO!" he screamed, turning around and running out of the library. He ran through the wall and stopped when the woman appeared beside him. "Did…I just walk through that?" he said, still unable to figure it out.

The woman sighed and waved her hand again. "Edward," she said calmly, removing her hood to reveal a heavily scarred face, "you died in the fire. Don't worry. Judgement is strict but he is kind and strong." She touched Ed's shoulders and wasn't surprised to see him crying. "You cannot go back to your body, no matter how much you wish you could." With that, she forced him to go through the bright door way and into judgement.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER ANYMORE!" he screamed, his golden eyes awake and wild with insanity. He raised his fist back and struck the creature before him. "YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME! YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING!" he yelled, shaking Envy's body hard. "Why didn't you? If I was there, I could have saved Al! I could have prevented Al from killing everyone!"

It was a fruitless attempt and Edward knew it. His pathetic red wings flapped gently, as if trying to gain altitude, but he had already lost so many feathers that it was impossible. His hoarse voice screamed in pain as there was a loud and sickening crack on his back and his right wing fell onto the floor with a thud. Blood poured from the stump from where the wing was. Frightened golden eyes stared in shock as the wing on the floor twitched violently. This had never happened to him before…WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING TO HIM?

He gazed at Envy, as if the guardian angel could do something for him. "I don't want to remember more! I don't want to remember what Armstrong told me, I don't want to remember how I became the Angel of Death….I don't want to remember ANYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE! Why can't you accept that?" he asked, wiping the vomit away from his mouth. 'I was happier….not remembering,' he thought, clenching his fist. His fiery eyes glared hatefully at the angel before him. 'It's all his fault,' he thought, grabbing Envy's shirt, 'if you had just left me and Al alone…we could have been together!'

xxx

The limp body of the angel danced within Ed's hands as he shook him. Envy's neck snapped backwards, his head lolling back on his shoulders as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. He could hear the other's screams, he could hear the other's cries of despair and of his anger. And yet, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing mattered to the delusional angel, nothing mattered more than the intricate patterns on the ceiling above him. He could hear Edward screaming at him, still, and knew that the blond was horribly upset with him, ready to murder him, it sounded like.

But yet, the patterns on the ceilings were so much more interesting than whatever Ed happened to be saying. His violet eyes were slipping slightly as his head snapped another way due to the rough shaking. The patterns flashed a bright color of red and he let out a little giggle, his mind fogged by the scent of blood, the memories, all the loud noises... and the color, it really was such a lovely shade of red. Candy apple, shiny and sleek.

He was vaguely aware that he was being shaken still, repeatedly. His brain bounced around loosely inside of his skull, slamming against the walls and rolling all about; similar to the motion of a child in a giant inflatable castle with bouncy walls and floor. Words drifted in and out of his brain as the terrible onslaught of memories hit him repeatedly, reminding him of what he failed to do and what he had done as an angel.

Even more horribly so, the patterns on the ceiling began to morph, taking on the shapes of devils. The once pretty, abstract swirls twisted into shapes of angels dying, their blood covering the earth below as they flew, wounded over barren wastelands. Wherever the blood from their wounded bodies fell, it stained the earth and brought new life to it. Leaves and plants sprouted gleefully from the rock hard soil, twisting up into the air, buds blooming into flowers, full and beautiful. He sniffed the air curiously and was brought back sharply to reality by the scent of blood.

Blinking his dulled violet eyes several times and shifting in his spot, Envy noticed what was happening within only seconds. Edward, his lovely Edward, the human he had risked his entire life for, was morphing. His wings were already featherless, matching Envy's, and one had fallen completely from his back. It lay twitching on the ground, its limbs slowly dying. He almost giggled as he stared at it, discovering quite quickly the analogy between angels and trees. The angel was the trunk, strong and enduring, while the wings were like branches, their feathers the leaves. Branches broke off from trees quite easily and leaves fell over even faster.

Who has the better wings, now? He couldn't help himself there. He knew that Edward had always prided himself over his wings, as he should, and that his wings had since grown weaker. But somehow, seeing Ed with only one wing caused a spur of joy somewhere deep, deep down within the growing monster of an angel. He knew those feelings were not correct, those feelings were bad, sinful things that no angel should ever think about. Tsk, tsk, what was he going to do with himself...?

Slowly, very gradually, his brain accepted the entire of the world all at once. Edward's screaming emerged as if he had dunked his head underwater, the words no longer muffled and distorted but clear. Envy was aware that the blond was clutching to him, glaring in a most fierce manner, as he murmured more hateful things. And that was when Envy began to realize further his actions, his mistakes. Yet, he regretted few things that he realized as he stood there, trembling slightly in the grip of the smaller, yet higher ranked, angel.

"You're wrong," Whispered the fateful angel, reaching up slowly to push Edward away from his body. "You're wrong. I am sorry, I am sorry that I could not save you. I am even more sorry about what happened to your brother, but he was not my responsibility. I couldn't have done anything for him, not even if I was granted the ability to do so." A sigh inflated his chest and he turned his sad, emotional violet eyes onto the other once more, the saddest of simple smiles dragging his lips up slowly. "Don't you see, Edward...? This is fate. It is planned out for your from the moment you take your first breath. You cannot help what happens, nor can you prevent these things from happening... Don't you understand...? We're all doomed, we're all living for one purpose: to live and to die. And those who become angels are lucky, for their purpose then is to live. To breath life into those they can save and ease the passing of those they cannot save. Do you understand, now, Edward...?"

Man, they gave the title 'Angel of Death' to just about any idiot these days, didn't they...?

xxx

**No witty commentary this time around. But I must say, look out for our next story. It's gonna be a blast. **


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